Torn
by la-quinn
Summary: Roxas is confused. He can't choose between Ollete and Axel. He's not the only one struggling to make a decision, though. Summary and Title changed
1. Preface

~Demyx POV

XII Eden Road~

"I can't believe he would do this to me!" Wailed Larxene, perched on the edge of my be. The figure of beauty as she sobbed heavily into her pale, slender hands. She looked just like an angel, though she was more demonic inside.

"Sssh. don't cry Larxene. He's obviously stupid if he doesn't want you." I said., trying my best to comfort her. But at the moment all of my efforts were in vain.

I placed a hand on her strangely frail back-usually she was unusually strong, stronger than most of the men that lived here with her, me included- and wiped away the tears from her watery blue eyes with my other.

"How did he leave my for _him_!" A touch of acid surfaced in her voice when she spoke that last word. "I mean he's not even finished school yet! I could have him arrested… No sorry I _should_ have him arrested!"

Her eyes were full of sorrow and anger as she spoke but when her face was distorted by rage she was still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

"You know Larxene if I were him I'd never let you go." I whispered. I leaned in so close to her that the tip of our noses were almost touching. I wanted to stay like this for ever. I just wanted to take in her scent. She smelled so heavenly, so sweet. I wanted her so much. But I couldn't have her. Couldn't feel her. Couldn't taste her, and it broke my heart. _But it was worth a try I thought._ So I kissed her … and, surprisingly, she kissed me back. Her kiss was violent, almost too violent. Still locked tightly in our embrace, I pulled her arms closer to me, too afraid to let her go. I depended on her like she was my oxygen . My hands slid over her chest as I began to unbutton her top. Letting out a snarl of irritation, she pulled away from, and slapped me hard across my face, fury plastered all over hers.

"I thought I could trust you! I thought you were my friend!" She snapped as she launched herself off my bed and towards my door, her fists were clenched tightly into fists. " Well I guess I was wrong,! You're just like the others, only looking to get into my pants!" She screeched, my door was half open and she was now halfway out of my room.

"Larxene! Wait I-" I started to plead. But It was too late. The door closed with a hefty slam that almost rocked off it's hinges. She had left my room, and, most probably, my life.

~Axel POV

Twilight town high school~

It was almost lunch, so I was already stood at the gates waiting for him to appear. He said he didn't want to see me, but we both know he was lying. I know he loved me but he just needed to stop trying to convince himself that he didn't. He was going to break that girls heart eventually, he was just too stubborn to realise it

Sora- Roxas' twin brother- and who I could only describe as his boyfriend were walking towards their usual spot, a bench underneath an oak tree. That meant that Roxas would arrive very soon, I hoped it did. Ever since he rejected me, for that girl, I came every lunch time to try and convince him that he made a mistake, to make him see sense and leave her, for me. He was being stubborn though, it was taking longer than I thought it would.

The Bell started to ring, it's harsh, piercing sound echoed around the school. The main doors swung open and I saw him, with her. They were strolling across the field, hand in hand. The portly black haired boy was following them as usual. Roxas looked as beautiful as ever, the sun shone in his blonde hair, making it even more golden than usual.

He must have spotted me in the corner of his eye because, after speaking to ollete and the portly boy, he strode towards me, glaring at me all the way.

He was finally willing to talk to me! Well I wasn't going to waste this chance. I was going to make him love me, ready or not. He was going to love me.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE-**

**This is just the preface. Roxas will be in the story in the next chapter. The preface really has nothing to do with the story, but I just thought I would make it. I'll keep you updated when I can. Enjoy!**

**ps. Chapter one will hopefully be much longer. I'm sorry if this is too short, it's just a preface. It's not really important to the story, just a character building exercise**


	2. confrontation

~Chapter 1- Confrontation

Roxas POV Twilight town High school~

The bell had finally rung, indicating that it was lunch time. The harsh midday sun shone brightly through the classroom window, blinding me slightly as got out of my chair and raced towards the door, fighting with 30 or so other students who had the same idea as me.

"Ow- Oi! Watch it!" Wailed Pence as a boy the size of a small house slammed him into a wall in the midst of the scramble.

"Are we going outside again?" He queried as we finally escaped the classroom. He had the usual worried look on his face when we go outside at lunch, and I knew in an instant that he really meant to ask: "Is he going to be waiting for you again?" I guessed I already knew the answer.

"Yes." I replied. His face sank.

"Hey guys! Wait up!" Squealed ollete, she was still trapped in the classroom, wedged between Hayner and a boy I did not know. She screeched once more as Hayner's hand "accidentally" graced over her left breast. She slapped him straight across the face, and danced her way towards us.

"Prick" She muttered to herself as she finally reached us, and tenderly kissed me on the lips. "You ok Hun?" She asked me, rubbing her petite hands across my cheek.

"Yeah."

"Good. Let's go!" Ollete practically ran through the corridors, and threw her fragile body at the main doors. The bright summer's day light made me flinch as we stepped outside into the concrete playground.

We were heading towards the little patch of grass that lingered underneath the colossal oak tree- Our science teacher ,Vexen, once told us it was nearly 150 years old- where Sora, Riku and Namine would probably be waiting for us. When we saw _him_ again. He was stood outside the school gates with the usual pained, longing look on his face.

"Roxas the paedo's back again." Pence stated, his tone slightly worried, as he glared at Axel, a menacing hatred filled his eyes.

"Don't call him that!" I snapped, getting increasingly infuriated when I saw pence's mocking expression.

"I'll see what he wants. You two go and meet Sora and the others." I sighed. I trudged towards the spot where Axel was waiting outside the gates, trying my best to fake reluctance. Axel's face lit up in delight when I finally reached him.

"Roxas! How are you? Feeling ok?" He asked, the irritatingly chipper smile on his face getting wider with every breath he took.

"I'd feel better if you left me alone. What d'you want axel?" I moaned, clutching onto the gate's railings, not daring to look into his eyes. I was too scared of falling in love with him yet again. But it was impossible. The more I tried to resist him, I just fell even more desperately in love with him. It was torture. _You're with ollete_ I kept trying to tell myself. But I was being idiotic, trying to fool myself. I craved him. He was my ecstasy. And I needed another fix

"That's a lie and you know it." He whispering suggestively, licking his unnaturally red lips in delight. "You can try and kid yourself with that girl. But you can never fool me Roxas. You love me. I know you do"

His face was getting dangerously close to mine now. I could feel his warm breathe on my cheek. It smelt strongly of mint I had to leave before I did something I may regret later.

"Now look whose trying to kid themselves." I sneered. He looked up at me, with his glorious hazel eyes and laughed uneasily as he gazed at me in wonder. How long did I have to play this game for? I knew I had made the wrong decision when I agreed to be with ollete. But I just don't know how to accept it. Did I really have the guts to declare my undying love for Axel in front of everyone one I knew? In front of ollete, could I really have to guts to smash her heart into pieces? Was I really ready to be judged by everyone as soon as they saw us together? Could I face my parents -especially my father- knowing how badly they reacted when Sora told them he and Riku were an item, how they expected me to be the "normal one?"

So many questions buzzed around my head, like angered bees demanding to be freed, to be answered. But not one of them could be.

"Axel…" I whimpered. I gave into temptation and gazed into his eyes. There was no way I could resist them, it was like staring into heaven. "I just can't…I'm not ready. It would break my parents hearts if they knew I was-I was." I couldn't force the word out of my mouth. Even the thought of it horrified me.

"If they knew you were gay." He finished with a triumphant look on his face. He thought he had won. I hoped he was wrong. Well, I half hoped. Half of me wanted us to be together, for ever. But the other half wanted everything to be right, to be normal. It wanted me and ollete to be happy together, and grow old together. I was stuck between two choices. Both of which would cause utter devastation for the people I love. I was stuck in an unrequited dilemma. And I had no way of escaping it.

"Look axel, I have to go. I'll see you whenever." I said, walking at a snails pace back towards the others.

"Bye Roxas." He whimpered, stretching out his arm, as to try to pull me back.

"I love you." I heard him whisper to himself." "Don't you ever forget it."


	3. The Party

Roxas-torn chapter2- The party

_Don't you know sometimes these things they don't work out?Best to walk away before your love runs outDon't you feel sometimes you don't know who you are?Giving all you got but you all just fading outYou got me feeling love sick in your arms_

~Roxas~

"_Roxas…" A voice whispered, tingling my ear hole as it spoke. "Roxas…" It was getting closer, it's soft, velvety tone caressed the air around it, _

_A figure appeared from the shadows, a hand held out, as if to touch me. As the shadows danced away from it's face, it smiled a seductive smile and sauntered towards me._

"_Roxas…" He chanted, his lips dancing in a slow, tantalising rhythm as he spoke. I wanted so desperately to touch them…to taste them. "Roxas…" His breath brushed my cheek, and it felt inviting. I had the sudden desire to embrace him, to take in his fragrant scent._

"_Axel…" I sighed, enchanted. I leaned in to kiss his yielding, crimson lips. His arms were entwined around my neck._

"_Roxas…" "Roxas…"_

"Roxas!" The dream faded, turning translucent before my eyes and, with not even a whimper, diminished. I longed for the dream to return. I longed to relive those exact moments until my demise. But this was the real world. The dream had gone, taking a chunk of my heart with it.

"Oi! Roxas! Wake up!." Sora screeched, yanking my hair sharply. I panicked, leaping out of bed. Sora never woke before me, only in an emergency did he manage to haul himself out of bed before midday, and it was nine thirty in the morning.

"Roxas! Come on." he whined persistently tugging on my old, tattered shirt that I almost always slept in. "Everyone will be arriving soon." I was a little perplexed, who was arriving? Was something happening today that I was not informed about? "Hello! Speak to me. Have you gone mute or something?" He added after I failed to reply. I stared up at him, forgetting how to speak. The tiredness was still lingering in my brain, completely numbing all my senses. It took me awhile to finally find my bearings and manage to speak.

"W-what d'you mean _Everyone's_ coming. Whose everyone?" I asked through a yawn. Sora was already dressed, he was wearing shredded, faded jeans and his favourite Mighty Boosh t-shirt. His mousy brown hair was stuck up and un kept, as usual, but it was flat in places, indicating that he had tried, and indivertibly, failed to flatten it down.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten Roxas. God you can be so stupid. I sometimes wonder if we're actually twins." He grumbled. "It's the party today." He smiled his usual childish grin and stepped towards the bedroom door, humming merrily to himself as he always did. Sora was always so chirpy, nothing ever distressed him, and that had always baffled me. Even when Mum and Dad disowned him after finding out that he was gay, he just walked away from the situation smiling like nothing had happened.

"I suggest you hurry up and get your arse in the shower." He added before slamming the bedroom door behind him, leaving me isolated in the room.

I set my mind on making both mine and Sora's beds, I'd tidy the room tomorrow, then I could find some way of blackmailing Sora into helping me. Our room was medium sized, the wallpaper was a pale yellow colour, the carpet was a shade darker, and the walls and ceiling above Sora's bed were littered with patches of dust free squares, due to him no longer needing his "pretend" posters any longer, Dad had torn them down in a rage.

I rummaged through the closet, and pulled out a fluorescent green towel, tossed it over my shoulder and strolled towards the bathroom. I could hear Sora downstairs, singing merrily along to "Lovesick." by his-and my- favourite band, friendly fires. Once inside the bathroom I undressed and turned on the shower, as high as it could manage. I loved the heat of the water as it flowed all over my body, sweeping all my emotions out of me, I felt rejuvenated, like a new person, no longer agitated by my childish thoughts. Until I got back out, then all my emotions came flooding back, like my own personal boomerang.

I heard the doorbell ring downstairs. Sora's feet sounded heavy against the wooden floor as he rushed to answer the door.

"Sora! Hey." Ollete squealed, at a dangerously high octave. "Where's Roxas?"

"Hey guys, come in." I heard Sora muffle, his voice sounded distorted and inaudible through the colossal amount of noise the shower was making. "Roxas is in the shower, lazy arse wouldn't haul him self out of bed."

I chuckled quietly to myself, if it wasn't for him, I'd still be a sleep. Still indulging in my own private dream world. It was the only time I could be with Axel. If only dreams and reality could entwine together. If only life was simple. But life is never simple, it's a long, winding puzzle just begging to be cracked. If only I knew how. If only, that's becoming my favourite phrase.

"Well…um…That guy, y'know the one that hangs round the school gates?" Pence asked, his voice was just above a whisper, I could only just mange to hear him.

"Yeah what about him?" Sora snapped back, the venom in his voice shocked me a little.

"Well…He's kinda coming and he's…um… he's with Kairi." Pence added, his voice cracking nervously.

"Speaking of the devils." Axel's voice chirped jokingly, my heart skipped a beat. Axel was here, only mere metres away from where I now resided. I could just imagine his tantalizing face, his crimson hair.

"Fuck off, peado scum." Sora spat. "You can get lost too, slag."

"So I'm the slag?" Kairi asked, sniggering a little. "If I can recall, _you're _the one who dumped _me because you suddenly realised that you preferred shagging boys."_

"_Kairi!"_ Namine gasped. "That's uncalled for."

Kairi had a point though, she and Sora were going out for almost two years. Then one day he called her to say that he couldn't go out with her, and that he was gay. Kairi begged him. Told him he was confused, just going through a phase and that they could pull through it, he wouldn't have it though. He just told her to never speak to him again. Called her a pathetic whore. He desperately to pretend I hadn't been eavesdropping on their hostile conversation.

"Roxas!" Ollete and Axel both exclaimed, a harmonise choir, both claiming their undying love.

"Axel and Kairi were just-" Sora was interrupted by the doorbell. I could finally use the expression "saved by the bell" Axel wasn't going anywhere.

A wave of people surged through the hallway, all chatting away merrily. Eagerly anticipating the party that loomed.

***

The doorbell rung for the about the tenth time in the last half an hour, I reluctantly opened it, bewildered by who I saw.

Larxene was stood in front of me, her hands resting gently on her hips. Her sky blue eyes bore into my skin, unluckily for me I didn't have a bullet proof vest.

There were four others stood behind her:

Marluxia- my old art teacher, he was fired for sleeping with a student- was next to her left, his vivid pink hair was tied up in ponytails, he was wearing a bright pink t-shirt and skinny jeans.

Demyx was the furthest from Larxene, he was glaring at her with a brutal intensity that was almost frightening to look at.

The other two I didn't know, one had long-ish purple hair that swept over his left eye, he was leaning against the wall, his head peering intently into a book.

The other had black hair, styled into a ponytail. He was wearing a eye patch, whether that was for fancy dress or whether he needed it I didn't know.

"Axels' here isn't he?" Larxene questioned, spraying spit in my direction.

"Yeah, he's outside." I replied, trying my best not to look afraid.

"Move out of my way then." She snapped, shoving me out of her way with a brute force that was unnatural for a women her size. Marluxia skipped towards me with an almost eerie smile on his face.

"Roxy!" He squealed, pulling me into a friendly, yet excruciating hug. "I haven't seen you since I was left your school."

"You mean since you were fired from his school for sleeping with his brother?" Demyx pointed out. He was leaning against the porch wall, a bitter look covering his face, he gave out the impression that he hated being here.

"Whatever." Marluxia sighed, throwing his hand in front of Demyx's face in the campest way possible. I had always admired Marluxia, he was openly gay, and didn't care what anyone thought about him. I, on the other hand, can't even open a door without begging for someone's approval first. I was constantly seeking acceptance, and I still haven't really found it. "Anyway, see you later Roxy." Marluxia brushed past me politely and headed off to find Larxene, weaving through the crowd of people with such grace that it was almost inhuman.

Demyx and the two strangers shuffled past me without uttering a word, a look of sheer boredom showing on their faces. They obviously weren't the party type.

***

I decided to go back outside with the others, we were all lay on a row of set of deck chairs that Sora found abandoned in the garage. Axel and Kairi were lay on the opposite side of the pool, axel was currently lay on top of Kairi, kissing the side of her neck playfully. Namine was glaring at them with disdain.

"What the hell is she playing at?" She yelled "He's almost twice her age for Christ sake!" I had trouble understanding too. One minute Axel was confessing his love for me, the next he was snogging the face off Kairi. I couldn't stand staring at them, I just wanted to hurt Kairi, like she was hurting me inside. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge, not intending to drink it, I ran back outside, shaking it fiercely, I flicked the cork out, with difficulty, using my left thumb, making sure it was pointed towards Kairi. The wine erupted out of the bottle, like a miniature glass volcano, soaking Kairi from head to toe.

"What're you doing you maniac?" She gasped, springing out of her chair. "I'm fucking drenched."

"Kairi calm down." Axel chuckled, dragging a finger across her angered, red face, steeling a few drops of wine. "At least you taste nice." He added, sucking on his damp finger

Ollete nearly choked on her drink, she laughed that hard, Sora joined in, grabbing Kairi by the arm and tossing her into the pool.

"Lets see how nice you taste now!" He cackled as she fell head first into the deep end, the water splashed upwards as she fell in. Not liking being disturbed from it's slumber, the water dragged Kairi under. Kairi struggled, and instantly failed, to swim back to the surface. She just fell deeper and deeper, until she finally hit the bottom. She lay there, tired and lifeless, her hair swirled around her head, hiding the horrified look on her face from view.

"SORA YOU DICKHEAD!" Namine screeched, her face had turned deathly pale, her fingers clutched nervously to her face, little droplets of red emerged from her cheeks, where her fingers nails had dug in a little too tight. "SHE CAN'T SWIM!"

"Don't worry." Axel said, calmly, ripping of his shirt. "I'll get her." He took a huge run up, and dove into the pool, the wave that emerged this time were even bigger. He swam strongly to the bottom of the pool, little pairs of bubbles rose up onto the surface, bursting instantly when they reached it. After a while, the water looked like an aquatic mine field.

Axel finally reached Kairi, he gently lifted her from the pool floor, and then propelled him self towards the surface, he shot upwards, like a flesh coloured torpedo, and burst through the water, looking just like a muscular dolphin.

"There you go." He groaned, hoisting Kairi up onto the poolside. "Lets go get you dry."

***

~Axel~

I carried Kairi into Roxas' room, and threw her onto his bed.

"Thanks." She smiled, sweeping the damp hair from her face. "I feel so embarrassed. I mean, who can't swim at the age of sixteen?"

"Obviously you can't." I joked, moving a large clump of wet hair away from her eyes. I moved my hands down to her lips, they felt so smooth, so damp.

"Your eyes are gorgeous." I whispered in her ear.

"Cut the crap smooth talk and kiss me." She said, forcing me into her arms. She pressed her lips against mine with force, they still felt tender against mine. She removed her arms from mine and reached to pull off her clothes. I ripped off mine as well in a hurry, and soon we were both a naked heap on the bed, touching, tasting. She felt so good, she tasted even better.

"Don't let go." She whispered, she moaned as I moved further into her, then moaned louder as I slipped back out.

"I won't don't worry."

We lay there, locked together, merged into one unique person, for nearly half an hour. Until I finally let out a groan of release, I rolled off Kairi, and lunched for my boxers.

"We better get back down stairs." I said, as I put on my boxers and stepped towards my jeans that were laying on the floor next to the door.

"I'll be back in a second ollete, I just need to get something out of my room." I heard Roxas say from the other side of the door.

"Shit" I mouthed, just as Roxas opened the door.

His face morphed into a mask of shock, and disbelieve as he saw me, stood half naked by the door, and Kairi sprawled out naked on the bed.

"I-I-I'll leave you two to it." He just about managed to hold back the tears, and after he slammed the door, I could hear faint, muffled cries. I instantly knew I'd done something terribly stupid. But I didn't know how the hell I could make it better.


	4. Upon a Knives Edge

Roxas-Torn

Chapter 3~Upon a Knives Edge

~Roxas~

I half-woke to the pitter-patter of raindrops against the window, I didn't want to get out of bed yet, I didn't want to get out of bed_ ever_. I couldn't face the world anymore, I just wanted to lie here in my bed and rot.

My stomach protested to that, it rumbled loudly, sending an uncomfortable vibrating feeling in my belly. I yanked the covers of my tired body, and swung my legs off the bed. I pulled on a plain white shirt on and jogged downstairs.

Sora was stood behind the mahogany counter in the kitchen, an irritatingly cheesy chin was plastered over his face He was wearing only a black-shirt, and a ripped pair of underpants, both of which looked ten sizes too big on his tiny frame.

"Morning sleepy head!" He sang, running to catch his toast as it sprang out of the toaster, he groaned when he saw the crusty black surface covering it. "Burnt again! Christ sake."

"Hey," I said through a stifled yawn. "You can't even make toast without burning it to a crisp." I made myself a bowl of cereal then sat by the kitchen counter, next to Sora.

"By the way, We're all going to Manchester in a bit to celebrate the fact that we only have week to we leave school after half-term. D'you wanna come?" He asked "You haven't been outside for a week, it'll be good for you."

It wouldn't be any good for me. No way. The thing that would be good for me at this moment in time would be to hid inside the house, and drink until the memories of last week faded away.

He slept with her. _Her_ of all people. I still couldn't get my head around it. Why her? Why not me? I wanted to seek him down and confront him. Demand answers. But why should I? Technically, I wasn't involved in any of it. It shouldn't matter what axel does with the village whore. I shouldn't care. But it does. And I did

"Roxas! Hello, earth to Roxas," Sora called out, waving his hands in front of my face. "Are you going to answer me or what?" He sounded a little irritated, and looked it too.

"Oh…yeah…" I responded, I often drifted off into my own little world, I could spend the whole morning day dreaming. My dad once said that day-dreamers are cowards, hiding out inside there own heads. Too afraid to face the problems real life threw upon them. There was a hint of hypocrisy in his words now. My parents had fled on a six week vacation. They couldn't put up with the "queer one" Any longer.

"Great!" Sora chirped, his face lit up like a joyful flesh coloured beacon. "I'll go and call the guys and tell them you're coming." _Great_ I thought_ Fucking great._ I can't believe I had just accidentally agreed to go out with them.

"Today's going to be _Fantastic."_ I sighed bitterly. I threw my bowl into the sink and trudged unhappily upstairs to get dressed_._

I didn't know then that I was right about that day. I was going to remember it for an age to come. For all the wrong reasons.

_***_

Sora and I walked at a steady pace to the train station. Sora was doing his best to break the awkward silence, every few minutes he'd ask a question like "So, what shops are you goin' to look in?" Or "How's it goin' with you and Ollete?" The only reply he'd get was a muttered "I dunno." or "Ok I guess."

The silence would continue, but Sora would still carry on with his constant questions. I couldn't stand it when people keep constantly trying to strike up a conversation. Couldn't they ever take a hint? I didn't want to talk. Just let the silence rest. Please.

The morning rain had died down, and the sun was now trying to pry it's way through the crowd of clouds, it's ray turning them a light orange colour.

The station was busy when we walked into the entrance, business men scurried hurryingly across the platform. Blissfully unaware of the summer holidays. Faithful little worker ants, afraid of being squished by their boss, the head honcho.

I could see Riku's grey hair floating above a crowd of people, Sora must have seen him too, because he ran over to him-knocking over a few people on the way.

"Hey!" He squealing as he leapt into Riku's muscular arms.

"Hey." Riku chuckled as Sora wiggled in his grasp. Ollete, Namine and Pence were stood behind Riku. A bright smile was plastered across Ollete's face.

"Hi Roxy!" She said; she pulled me into an embrace and lightly kissed me on the cheek, her lips were velvety against my skin. But I felt nothing from it. She wasn't who I wanted. But I guess I'll have to put up with her.

"Hey." I said despite my efforts, my empty, monotone voice rang threw clearly.

"So," Sora began after pulling himself out of Riku's bear hug. "Are we going or what?"

***

The train journey was bearable, I mostly sat in silence and stared out the grubby window as the world sped past. I'd been feeling like this for a while. My whole life, I was merely a spectator, watching everything drift by me. I'd had no control. And I still don't. Ollete sat next to me, a little perplexed by my protesting silence. After almost ten minutes of silence, she cracked, and turned round to speak to Namine.

***

We arrived at Manchester a few minutes later and headed straight for Affleck's palace. The shop was bursting with teenagers all celebrating the holidays. We all headed off in different directions, and I went to browse through the t-shirts. When I spotted them.

They were leant against a wall in the fair corner of the room, stealing a kiss, whilst many passers by look on in awe at them both.

Axel spotted me staring and shoved Kairi out the way

"Hey Roxas." He said. His irritating smile grew wider, Kairi glared at me.

"Bye Axel." I spat, I turned around to leave. But he grabbed my shoulder before I could get away.

"You ok?" He asked, his face changing into a mixture of concern, and guilt.

"No," I replied, trying not to stare into his eyes. "No, I'm not. Now do me a favour and let go off me, and fuck off away from me." He let go then. His expression was full of pain, and I thought I saw him cry, but I couldn't tell. I ran away too quickly to look. That's what I'm best at. Running away.

***

"Are you sure you're ok?" Sora asked as we left Affleck's, the crowd outside had gotten bigger, and rowdier.

"I'm fine!" I snapped. "For Christ sake, will you please leave me alone! You're doing my head in!" I pushed Sora out the way and stared on ahead. I knew I shouldn't have come. I knew it would be a disaster.

The others didn't try to communicate with me after that, Ollete gave me the occasional longing stare, but I pretended not to notice.

Someone shoved Riku from behind, and then mere seconds later, a fist collided with his face.

"What you doing 'round here? Queer." The voice was familiar and I look at the attacker and realised the rest of him was as well. It was Seifer. And he had a knife.

"I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget." He chuckled evilly as he lifted Riku up by the hair, he hand raised the knife in the air, and was ready to plunge it into Riku's chest.

"NO!" Sora screeched, he ran towards Seifer, and pushed Riku out the way just in time. Riku survived unscathed. Sora, on the other hand, didn't. Seifer stabbed him near the heart.

Blood gushed out the wound like a burst pipe, when Seifer saw it, he scarped, faster than you could say cowardly twat.

Riku instantly ran to Sora's side.

"CALL AN AMBULANCE! NOW!" He screamed, his voiced cracked unevenly under the pressure.

Sora was still bleeding heavily as Namine rang for an ambulance.

"T-they'll be here in t-ten minutes." We all knew that wouldn't quick enough. What we didn't know is whether Sora would survive. Please god let him be okay.

* * *

**Will sora survive? You'll have to wait for the next chapter.**

**I had trouble writing this, and I don't really like it. Tell me what you think.**


	5. Wires

Roxas Torn

Chapter-4~Wires

~Axel~

My sleep was interrupted by a harsh knock on my front door (Knock was a bit of a understatement, the word punch would have been a lot more appropriate.) I glanced at my alarm clock and groaned, it was seven in the morning. Definitely not cool. 7am is still the middle of the night for me. I never wake up before one o'clock.

I reluctantly got out of bed and threw on the first pair of underwear I could find. I don't think my guest would have appreciated being greeted at the door by my morning wood, clearly in view.

I crept downstairs, rubbing my tired eyes roughly, and shuffled towards the front door.

"What the fuck d'you wa-" I began to ask. Larxene barged her way past me and, after she stormed halfway down my hallway, span on her heels to face me.

"You've got some nerve," she spat. She strode her way back to me, and shoved her petite finger in my face.

"Dumping me for that preadolescent _brat_, then dumping him- in an instant- so you could shag the neighbourhood _skank!"_ Her hand fell back to her side, her cold, pale blue eyes rested on my face, burning a whole in my skin. She looked furious, so full of hate, yet she still managed to look impossibly gorgeous. Almost angelic.

I was about to tell her that me and Roxas weren't together in the first place, but I was distracted by her body, she was wearing a black, low cut top that almost completely revealed her breasts, and the shortest red skirt I had ever seen, and _man_ I had seen some pretty short skirts in my time. My erection began to throb, and I probably looked like I had shoved a statue or something down there. She looked _fit._

She gazed down at my crotch and began to chuckle half-heartedly to herself.

"I see _you're_ in a good mood," She moved ever closer towards me, and rested her hand on my shoulder. She smelt sweet, she gave the impression of a carnivorous plant. She drew you in with her beauty, but once you got too close, she devours you in a second. I was the getting that feeling now, as her lips drew dangerously close to my face. "We were good together, weren't we Axel?" Her breath stank of mint, it left an uncomfortable sensation in my nostrils as I breathed it in.

"Yes, I-I guess we were." I got a surged of sensation as her thigh grazed the tip of my erection.

"Then why don't we, you know? Start again?" I couldn't help but gasp at the suggestion. I did love her, but not in the way I loved Roxas. She could never compete. But she wasn't competing, Roxas had given up, thrown in the towel. He didn't want me. _I _was the one competing, chasing an unreachable dream. And I needed to wake up and realise Roxas _was_ with ollete, and he really _did want her. So I had no other choice._

"Yeah," I agreed, stroking her cheek with the tip of her thumb. "Why don't we?"

She squealed, and leapt into my arms, this was the first ever time I saw her generally happy. She was usually storming round the place, snapping at people and complaining. But know she was finally in a good mood. And it made me feel happy too. Knowing I made her feel good. For once.

"Oh my," she laughed. "We seem to have a penis between us." she glanced at the object in question, then into my eyes.

"Why don't we get you back upstairs, and back out of those boxers?" She asked., and, after I nodded in agreement, lead my back upstairs into the bedroom, and shut the door.

~Roxas~

The ambulance arrived in five minutes, the paramedics had to force their way through the dense crowd of spectators to reach Sora, he had lost a frightful amount of blood, and his motionless body was bathing in the red liquid.

Riku was still hunched over him, he gave up on trying to resuscitate him a while ago. So he just sat, sobbing over his body.

"Excuse me, we need to get to the body." One burly paramedic commanded, their voice was deep, and I guessed they were a man.

"He's not just a body!" Riku spat, still hunched over Sora. "He's still alive!" The butch paramedic kicked Riku out the way, and muttered something like: "Yeah, yeah, sure kid." They hoisted Sora up on to some sort of bed and wheeled him off to the ambulance.

"Can I come with him? I'm his brother." I asked, through silent tears. The other paramedic nodded. I clambered into the side and sat next the Sora's bed/tray. I grabbed his hand. For my comfort more than his.

"Come on Sora," I pleaded, a tear dripped down onto his hand. "You can get through this, I know you can." I felt Sora's hand grip me tighter. And I was sure I saw his eyes open.

"R-Roxas," He gasped, I moved in closer to hear him, but moved back when I realised I was soaking his face with tears. "D-Don't cry." That was easy for him to say, but still thoughtful. Only Sora would worry about his brother when he was the one bleeding to death. Typical.

He tried to sit up to embrace me, but fell back down onto his back, he let out a pain-filled whimper as his head his the ambulance door.

"Don't try to move," I said, resting my arm under his head for comfort.

"R-Roxas, you… you know I love you, don't you?" He asked. The question came out of the blue, and, to my disdain, I knew why he was asking me. He knew. He knew he was going to die. I could see it in his face, hear it in his voice. He was ready.

"Of course I do," I laughed. "You're my brother, and I love you. I always will, just like you'll always love me." I stroked his bloodstained hair, the blood had sprayed everywhere, soaking every part of his body completely.

He looked at my thoughtfully and smiled, the smile was weak and weary, but it still was a smile, and said "Always. Till the day I die."

As soon as we reached the hospital, they wheeled Sora into the emergency room and made us all sit outside. The ten minutes that followed were the longest ten minutes I had every experienced. I never stopped crying all the way through.

The doctor finally came out and permitted us to go in and see him. He was strapped to a heart monitor, and his breathing was weak and raspy.

"Guys, can you give us a minute?" He asked. "I want to speak to Roxas on my own for a minute."

Everyone pilled out the room, Riku took a little persuasion, but eventually he left.

"You shouldn't be here," He said, staring at me.

"What? Of course I should." I replied.

"Roxas, I know about Axel. And I think you should be going after him, before Kairi gets him, or someone else does." He was right. I should be fighting for Axel, not just moping around feeling sorry for myself.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked.

"Yes, no go!" And I did go, I ran out the room, and out of the hospital. I was going to finally _tell Axel I loved him. We were going to be together. I hope._


	6. That's what you get

Torn Chapter 5- That's what you get

~Roxas~

The hospital doors flung open I sprinted through them. It had darkened since I was last outside, and it was now raining, heavily. I had no umbrella, nor did I have a coat. But I didn't care, I was too excited to care about getting wet.

Before I did anything, though, I decided I better call ollete as I walked to Axel's house, and give her the bad news. Me and her were over. And I know it was cowardly not doing it in person, but I had to. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and pressed number two on my speed dial

"NOW CALLING OLLETE MOB" Flashed on my screen in big letters.

"_Hello?" _I heard Ollete say in my ear

"Ollete, look-"

"_Roxas! Why the hell did you run off like that? Where are y-"_

"Listen!" I barked down the phone, I'm sure I heard her whimper down the receiver, "Look, I don't think we're working out. It's over Ollete."

"_What? No. Roxas. Y-you don't mean it," _She began to plead, I was finding it hard to understand her, between all the sobbing

"Yes I do, get over it," I snapped, feeling a little guilty about being so forceful. But it had to be done. "We're finished Ollete. F-I-N-I-S-H-E-D." I hung up quickly, put my phone back in my pocket, and carried on walking. Thunder crackled wildly behind me, but I wasn't bothered. I did walk a little faster, I have to admit, but my mind was set on seeing Axel. I could be shot at right now, and I wouldn't give a damn. I only cared about seeing him.

The wind started to pick up behind me, whirling round like a raging vacuum, my hair was dancing in circles with it. I had to concentrate on just putting one foot in front of the other, or else the wind would have probably knocked me on my face.

The harsh ringing of my phone brought me crashing down to earth, and as I stopped to pick up my phone, the wind slammed me into the road. I cursed to myself as I glanced at my phone.

OLLETE CALLING. I cursed again, and rejected the call. She better not keep calling me all night.

I pulled myself of the ground, and dusted myself off, and carried on walking. I was starting to regret coming here. But that regret faded right out of me when I saw his house from a distance. His living room light was on, and I thought I could see his television pulsating, and I was sure I could see two faint outlines, one male, one female.

I ran towards the house and stopped dead in the front garden. The other outline in the room with him was Larxene. I gasped a little as I saw her writhing around in his arms. They were both in fits of laughter. I couldn't help it. I collapsed onto the floor, and burst into tears, right in front of the window. How the hell could he do this? He spent all that time chasing after me, and when I finally gave in. He abandoned me. Left me…for her.

Larxene spun around on her heels, and cackled as she saw me, slumped in the rain, cradling my aching head. She sauntered towards the window, and pulled the curtains shut. Still smiling.

My phone rang again, vibrating in my trousers. It was Ollete again. I didn't have any time to spare. So I decided to answer.

"Hel-" I answered.

"_Roxas!" _Ollete screamed down the phone. _"You _Fucking _prick!"_

"Ollete calm down,"

"_No! Listen to me! He's dead Roxas! He's _fucking_ Dead!"_

I had nothing to say. The phone fell from my grasp, and I threw up all on the pathway. He was dead. My brother was dead.

* * *

**Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I've been revising for a friggin' german exam...**

**And sorry it's rushed. I just wanted to update.**

**Review, if you can. :)**


	7. Trouble

Torn Chapter 6-Trouble

~Roxas~

I dragged myself out of Axel's front garden, still weeping as the rain crashed to the ground all around me. I grabbed Axel's front gate and managed to pull myself up, and walked, in a painfully slow pace, back home.

The same thoughts swirled around in my head through out the journey. Axel was over me. Sora was dead. And, the worst of all, I had just burned all my bridges in the hope of being with him. So I was stuck, isolated on this little island. Alone and, most probably, friendless. At least no one but Sora knew that I loved Axel, or the whole thing could have been much worse. But I still hated myself for being so stupid. It was slightly ironic, thinking about it. Axel had wanted me for months, but I was too scared to admit I wanted him. But when I eventually did, he binned me for someone else

I abandoned my brother at his deathbed, when he needed me most. For him. I cut my ties with everyone I've ever loved. For him. And how did he repay me? By fucking someone else. All he ever did was let me down. All _everyone_ ever did was let me down. I was a pushover. That was the meaning of my existence. To be treated like a door mat by everyone I ever met. Well that wasn't going to happen anymore. I'll never let anyone walk over me, ever again. There's going to be a new Roxas, just you wait.

I was soaked to the bone when I finally got home, and I realised that someone was perched on my doorstep. I got a little closer and, to my surprise, saw it was Kairi. She was resting on the step, her head slumped into her hands, I could hear her crying quietly, and every so often, she stopped to quickly sniff upwards, then she was on her way again.

"Kairi?" I called, resting my hand on her damp red hair. "Are you ok?"

She raised her head to look at me, her face was stained with makeup, that had ran down her cheeks, her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and I could now see a small, white stick in her left hand.

"R-Roxas." She sobbed. "I-I need your help… I'm p-pregnant." She raised her left hand in front of my face, fully revealing the white stick. It was a pregnancy test. Two pink lines were clearly shown in the little screen. For a girl Kairi's age, that was the worst sign you could ever see. I could see it clearly on her face, she definitely wasn't glad. But that's the price you pay.

"Let's get you inside." I sighed. I unlocked the door, then practically threw Kairi threw it I heard her mutter "Careful you idiot." But I wasn't in the mood to be upset by it. I'd just been through much worse. She crept into the living room and sat on the sofa, I did the same. We turned to face each other. Kairi confessed.

"I'm going to keep it." She blurted out, the look on her face afterwards confirmed that she regretting it.

"I know it sounds stupid, and I know I'm only sixteen. But I know it's the right thing. I could never kill a little innocent baby." I rested my hands on her shoulder, and for the first time since she and Sora broke-up, I saw her for what she truly was. A scared, lonely little girl, and I realised I was feeling the same. I was lonely too. Though, unlike her, it was all my fault.

"Do your parents know?" I asked, my tone rising an octave

"Yes."

"And what did they say?"

"They kicked me out." She glanced at the carpeted floor and starting crying again. This time, though, the tears came out a lot more violently than before.

"It ok's, don't worry," I said pathetically. I was always terrible at comforting people, and I wasn't doing any better then. "If you don't mind me asking, Whose the father?" I didn't know why I asked. It was obvious, but I just hoped that I wasn't going to hear the name I knew I was going to hear.

"It's Axel." She admitted, not daring to look into my eyes.

I knew it. Why does he insist on tormenting me every minute of my life? I was trapped in a spider's web, full of disappointment and complications. It was strangling me. I needing to break free. But how could I? When I was the one who spun that web in the first place?

"K-Kairi. I think you should leave now." I said, now I was the one gazing at the floor with my in my eyes. Oh two little words can completely change the scene.

"What? Roxas you can't throw me out!"

"Yes I can, get out." I spat venomously.

"I have nowhere else to go." She pleaded, dropping down to her knees. "Please Roxas, I have no one."

"Tough" I snapped. I grabbed her arm and dragged her to the front door. "Piss off" I yelled as I tossed her into the street. I heard her wailing loudly as she skulked off down the road.

I slid down onto my knees, and rested my head against the door. I stayed there for a while, crying, that's all I did. Cry. That's all I ever fucking did.

* * *

**Hey guys, this was updated A little early than I planned, but this chapter was also shorter than I had planned...so I put it on now.**

**This was written to the song Trouble by Coldplay. Look it up on youtube.**

**Hope you enjoyed it, make sure you review**


	8. Pressure

Torn

Chapter 7- Pressure

~Axel~

I awoke to the sound of birdsong; the sun was weakly fighting its way through the curtains. Larxene was still sleeping next to me. Totally silent. A picture of beauty. I hauled myself out of bed, and rummaged for some underwear; I found a faded grey pair and threw them on.

I bounced down the stairs and headed into the kitchen, and swung the fridge door open. The fridge was completely empty. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"LARX!" I bellowed as I sprinted up the stairs.

"W-wha?" she asked, she looked dazed, obviously half asleep.

"I'm going to get a bacon sandwich for breakfast," I stated, throwing on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. "You want something?"

"No," she groaned; as she threw herself back onto the bed. "What I want is some sleep,"

I laughed to myself as I stepped outside, then stopped dead in my tracks.

The front garden was a mess, someone had threw up all over my pathway, then decided to rip most of the flowers out of the soil.

The sun bounced off an object nearby, and flashed right into my eyes. I flinched for a second then stepped towards the object. It was a phone. The screen had been cracked down the middle, where it had most probably been dropped. It looked weirdly familiar, and I couldn't figure out why.

It took more than five minutes for it to finally click. The phone belonged to Roxas. He must have been here last night. I wonder why. Forget the shop, I have to go see him. I need to give return his phone. Just that. Nothing else._ Yeah, you keep telling yourself that_. My subconscious told me. I tried to ignore it. But it kept bugging me. I'm over him. I'm with Larxene. I'm over him… aren't I?

I felt more confused than ever. I didn't want to think about him anymore, because, if I did, I'd try to chase after him, yet again. And we both didn't want that.

It took me a while to get to Roxas' house at the pace I was walking. Larxene was probably wondering where I had disappeared to. Like I gave a damn. I hopped onto his front step, still holding his phone, and tapped lightly on the door.

The Roxas that answered was different. And I hated him. His hair was wild and greasy, his face was blotchy and red, a faint trail revealed the path of his tears, and his wrists were covered with multiple cuts. All neatly in line. I winced as I saw the state he was in, my first reaction was to run up to him and comfort him. To tell him that, whatever was wrong with him, it didn't matter, and it that would all be ok. I wanted to hold him. To kiss him, to… _STOP _my subconscious yelled in my head. I responded, instantly, and came back down to earth.

"Rox?" I asked; I took a step towards him, and stroked his trembling face. "Are you ok? I-I found your phone outside my house." I held my held out towards him, offering him his phone.

"Thanks" He said in a flat, monotone voice. He snatched the phone out of my hand and attempted to slam the door on my face. I shoved my hand in the way, and forced the door open.

"Do you not want to talk to me?" I asked, trying to step into the hallway, but Roxas block my path with his arm.

"Not, really no." He replied, gazing past my head. He wouldn't even make eye contact with me.

"Why? What have I done?" I asked again, getting more desperate.

"It's more a question of _who _have you done." It finally clicked. Roxas was outside my house last night. He must have seen me with Larxene through the window.

"Roxas…about that… Me and Larx are, kinda together." I admitted, shuffling my feet. We stood there, silent, for a few minutes. Roxas finally broke the silence.

"Good for you." He laughed, half-heartedly.

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Yeah… bye" He said, and slammed the door again. This time I couldn't stop him.

"I guess I'll go…" I muttered; I turned around and walked back towards my house.

"Oh! And before I forget!" Roxas yelled through his open living room window. "You're gonna be a dad! That's right, Kairi's pregnant."

The world around me grinded to a halt, like someone had just pressed the pause button on my life.

I pulled my phone out my pocket, and started dialling.

"Kairi." I shouted down the phone. "Kairi, when you get this message ring me. I need to speak to you. Now"

* * *

**I swear every chapter gets shorter and shorter, lol.**

**Written to the song Pressure by paramore.**

**Review! Pretty please**


	9. Announcement

**I've got work experience this week...so I might not be able to update for a while since I'm at my gran's all week...If I get a chance to write I will, I promise.**

**Byee- La-quinn**


	10. Into the Lions Den

Chapter 8- The lion's den

~Axel~

"Kairi, can you call me when you get this message," I pleaded into the phone once again, this had to be the tenth message I'd left on her phone, but whose counting? "Please Kairi, I need to speak to you," I hung up, and collapsed unto the floor. I couldn't be a father, for one, I hated kids with a passion. And secondly, I had no idea how to look after one. I'd have to convince her to have an abortion, which would probably be a piece of cake. If she refused, than I'd have to resort to plan B…If only I knew what that was. I had some serious thinking to do.

What is Larxene finds out? What if she leaves me? Knowing Larx, all hell would break loose is she found out. I had to figure out a way of keeping Kairi's mouth shut… and then it hit me. That was plan B. Bribery. I'm sure Kairi would jump at the chance for a shed load of money, all she'd have to do is piss of to another town, and never speak to anyone from twilight town again. It was a very hopeful thought, I know. But It was a thought of a desperate man. I needed her and that _thing_ out of my life. For good. Even if it meant doing the unthinkable…

***

I skulked towards Kairi's house. I was going to finish this before it spiralled out of control. I didn't know just what I was going to do. Maybe I could drag her down to the hospital and force her to have an abortion right now, or I _could_ try to bribe her into leaving. Or I could try the unthinkable, drag her into one of the many bushed surrounding the nearby park, and beat the shit out of her. I shuddered as that thought barged it's way into my mind. I could never bring myself to kill someone…. Could I? I pushed that question into the back of my mind as I reached Kairi's front door, and knocked loudly.

"Coming!" A feminine voice yelled from somewhere inside, I had a gut feeling that is I went in there, guns blazing, that this could end badly. Probably for me. I couldn't go back now though, I'd unconsciously flung myself towards the lions den, and at this moment in time, I was on my hands and knees, nonsensically waiting for the gates to be prised upon and the ravaged lions with the likening for a red-headed, womanizing moron to be let loose. The next few seconds dragged on and, to me, it felt like the snail on the over side of the door would never reach the handle. But she finally did. The face that met me painfully resembled Kairi's, though the hair that swept across hers was bleach blonde, not ginger.

"What the hell do you want?" She spat, her normally welcoming blue eyes turned cold and uninviting and for a moment I though she was going to slap me, but she just stood there, glaring at me with those hate filled eyes. I totally forgot why I was there, I just stared at her, slightly afraid, like some sort of mute, until I finally found my voice again.

"Is….is Kairi there?" I asked, my usual confident energy had been sucked out of me, and all that was left was a little boy, cowering on the doorstep, waiting to see whether his friend could come out to play.

"Why the fuck should I tell you?" She snapped at me again. She really did have some of Kairi's fierceness inside her, maybe she really was her sister after all. Kairi's sweet little sister Namine was missing then, and in her place was a bitch. A complete bitch

"Because, if you don't." I hissed "I'll rip that cute little hair of yours off your stupid little scalp." The bitch disappeared as fast as she came, and Kairi's little sister came to reclaim her place. People like that made me chuckle to myself. They acted all high and mighty, once they saw a sign of weakness. But as soon as you fought back, oh, well that was a whole different story, they were like a mix-breed of humans, turtles, and fish. Stupid, spine-less, and as soon there was a slight sign of danger, they retreated back into their shells. Pathetic.

"Oh….um…she's in her room" Little girl Namine whimpered. I brushed past the cowardly little girl and proceeded up the stairs. The staircase was narrow, and I almost had to walk up sideways. After I was done here, I obviously needed to head to the gym.

It was obvious which room was Kairi. You'd literally have to be blind to not see the sign, with

**KAIRI'S ROOM: DO NOT ENTER**

Plastered all over it. I cautiously stepped towards the door, I was going through my words carefully in my head. I imagined Kairi would've been fragile at that moment, and any wrong word could push her over the edge. This was going to be _very_ difficult. Fucking fantastic.

I knocked gently on the door, and held my breath. Silence followed. A long, deadly painful silence. Was she there? What the hell was she doing?

I was just about to knocked the door down when a timid, mechanical voice finally answered.

"D-dad, if that's you. I'm sorry." It whimpered, it sounder as id all the emotion had been sapped from it's host. "N-Namine let me in. P-please don't kick me out again. Please." I felt a lump in my throat the size of a beach ball. I was stuck on the spot. I could have left know, she wouldn't have known I was there. I could've avoided another upset. I should have left her alone. But no. I _had_ to speak to her. I _had_ to destroy what was left in her ruined world.

"K-Kairi." I began "It's Axel. I need to speak to you." Another long silence followed (What was it with this family and their inability to respond fast enough?) Before the door was timidly pulled open.

Kairi's face was covered in bruises. Not the vivid, blue or purple ones, oh no, but the dirty old mouldy green bruises, the ones that had lingered on the skin for god knows how long, before finally giving up and started to begin the fading process. Her wrists were littered with cuts, which to me looked horribly infected. She looked like she'd just arrived back from a two week holiday in Iraq.

"Hey," she whimpered "What've you been up to then?"

"Kair-"

"Don't start!" She snapped and, just like that encounter with Namine ten minutes earlier, I saw a whole different Kairi. "I know what you're here for. You've come to try and persuade me to get an abortion aren't you?" My gaze averted from Kairi, to the floor in one swoop. I suddenly felt like I was in the lion's den again. Only this time, unlike with the others, I knew that this lion could rip me to pieces.

"I knew it!" She screamed again, sounding slightly hysterical. "Is every fucking person I know against me?"

"Kairi I'm not against yo-"

"Do you want me to get the abortion?" I stopped to think for a split second. Even though I knew my answer. Yes. I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud though.

_Say it Axel. _

I can't.

_Say it!_

No, I can't

._SAY IT!_

NO!

"Well?" Kairi questioned. "It's not hard. Do you, or do you not, want me to get an abortion?" Again, I Found myself wrestling with my sub-conscious. And at the very moment, it was winning.

"Yes." DING-DONG! There goes the bell. AND THE WINNER IS! My shitty subconscious. Oh how I hate it sometimes.

"Well fuck you then!" She spat, before slamming the door in my face. The wind created by the force blew all my hair around my head for a second, then calmed, letting my hair rest around my frame.

And that was that. She didn't want to speak to me, ever. I guess that solved me earlier problem. I ain't seeing that baby anytime soon. Thank fuck for that.

Just then, I felt my phone vibrate sharply in my pocket, I opened it, and looked at the notice box.

**ONE NEW MESSAGE FROM: ROXXY**

If is the day wasn't interesting enough, here comes Roxas the friendly sulk to make it even more exciting. I opened the message, and was shocked to read:

**I Need to speak to you.**

**Be at my house in ten minutes?**

**Roxas xx**

I closed my phone, and walked back out of the house. And towards the most disturbed, irritating person I have ever shared more than a moment with.

And I couldn't wait.


	11. Slipping away

Chapter 9

_Slipping Away_

_No matter what people say_

_No matter how far you stray_

_I would do anything,_

_For your love_

_No matter how great or small_

_No matter how tall the wall_

_Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall_

_I'll do it all, for your love_

**Impossible- Daniel Merriweather**

_~Roxas~_

The clock continued to tick like a sadistic metronome, mocking my impatience. I sent that message about ten minutes ago. Didn't I? I swear I did, and he's _still_ not here. Does he not want to see me? Maybe he's just running late. Yeah, that's it, he's just running late. He'll be here, I'm sure of it.

Ten minutes past by like a mere second, all which I had spent knelt in front of the living room window, searching for him. I was about to give up all hope, when I heard a soft knocking on the door. It had to be him! I practically flew to door the, and flung it upon as quickly as I could. I didn't want to waste any precious seconds. I needed him now!

"Finally!" I gasped at the sight of him, "Where the hell have you been, I sent that text about fifteen minutes ago,"

"I know," He replied, his eyes lingered around my face but when I tried to meet his with mine, they danced away and averted towards the floor, "I had something important to do," as the sentence faded away, so did the conversation. We both stood at the door, an awkward silence crept into the atmosphere and it stayed there for awhile, until I finally decided to let him into the house.

He stepped in cautiously, giving me the impression that he couldn't stand being here, and I was probably right, I was even starting to regret inviting him here. Having him in the house brought back some painful memories for me.

"Sit down," I ordered, trying to sound polite, "make yourself comfortable."

"No thanks," He replied, "I'd rather stand," that knocked me back a little, and I piped down, my eyes drifted up to glance at the ceiling and I felt like I was about to burst into tears.

_Don't be such a cry-baby_

The first tear silently slid down my cheek.

_Now what's he going to think? I mean look at yourself now!_

That lone tear was a clear signal for the others, and now floods of them were pouring out of eyes.

_Oh god, pull yourself together._

I couldn't take the shame, I ran out of the living room and slammed the door behind me. It took me a while to realise that I had just stormed out of my own living room, instead of simply throwing Axel out of the house. The next wave of embarrassment and self-loathing hit me. Not as hard as it's predecessor, but still enough to set off the next batch of tears.

A muffled shuffling noise emitting from the living caught my attention, and I was sure I could hear heavy breathing behind the living room door.

The door slowly began to open, and Axel stepped outside.

"I'm going," He declared, his tone made him sound irritated, and I couldn't blame him. He reached for the front door, and then my instincts kicked in. I leaped off the stairs with a sudden new found grace and barged past Axel.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked, bewildered, as I blocked his pathway to the now open door.

"Trying to get you to stay." I replied, trying my best to stand as still as I could whilst not causing any physical strain to my body. I never was any good at musical statues.

"I don't understand you at the moment Roxas," Axel span on his heels to face away from me, though I couldn't see his expression, I could tell from his voice that he was annoyed with me. "I mean, first you kick me out of your house. The you decide to invite me _back_ to your house an hour later, only to storm out of your own living room as soon as I arrive," He turned to face yet again, and gripped onto my shoulders like a vice, "What d'you want from me!?"

"I want you to stay!" I yelled back. The tears were starting to fight their way back out of their ducts, and I had no energy left with which to push them back. Axel's vice like grip on my shoulder got firmer, which made me winch a little. The tears saw that as an opportunity and sprang out of my eyes all at once. But Axel still didn't let go, with every tear that fell from my eyes, the vice gripped more furiously.

"STAY!?" He yelled. "Trust me Roxas, nothing you could ever possible do could make me stay!"

"What if I did this?" I asked. My instincts kicked in again as I took Axel's head in my hands, leant forward… and kissed him. The vice released it's grip on my shoulder, and Axel's hands moved to chest, possibly to undo my shirt. I let my arms work their way down his body, whilst my mouth stayed to work on his lips. My right hovered over the hem of his jeans, and I was sure I heard Axel groan, whilst my left hand returned to rest behind his head, holding it still as my tongue penetrated his succulent lips.

I felt something inside his jeans raise, which encouraged my once nervous hand to continue its journey. I slipped my hand inside his jeans.

"Not wearing any underwear I see," I giggled, lifting my head away from his, "well I guess that'll just make it all the easier,"

"Roxas," He mouthed, surprisingly out of breath, "stop," he attempted to move away from me, but my hands opposed him.

"Don't be stupid," I replied, refusing to let him go. My right hand delved deeper into his jeans and wrapped tightly around his erection.

"Fuck off Rox!" He spat, nudging me further.

"I know you like Axel, just relax."

"Fuck…" The vice was back. It grabbed my right hand and yanked it sharply out of his jeans. He yelped a little, and rubbed his crotch, the way an animal would rub it's wounds after a fight. I didn't give up though, my tongue found its way back into his mouth.

"…OFF!" I realised that his hands weren't trying to unbutton my shirt, they were just waiting for the right moment to shove me, and this was it. My tongue flew out of his mouth, my left hand lost its grip on his head, and I flying into the wall. My head hit the solid surface the hardest, and it was overcome with a sudden amount of pain. I fell, onto the floor in a agonizing heap.

"Don't go…" I pleaded as Axel stepped through the opened door into the garden. He acted as if he didn't hear me, even though we both new he did, and carried and walking.

I pushed myself onto myself feet again, and was about to run after him, though before I could steady myself, I heard a familiar, and yet unwelcome voice.

"Roxas?" Ollete was stood in the front garden, her blotchy face was ridden with trails, left from expired tears Please god. Tell me she didn't see.

"Ollete," I stepped towards her cautiously, still clutching my painful head, "H-How long have you been out there for?"

"Long enough," she replied, elongating her arms out towards me, most probably to stroke my face.

"Are you ok?" I asked her, now that I was within touching distance with her, I could see that the tears were actually still leaking from her ducts.

Her hand floated around my cheeks for a few seconds, and then slowly retreated. I was starting to think she was about to leave, then it sprang back to collide with my face. I staggered away from her in horror, still staring at her face.

"Cut the crap" she spat, "I saw you trying to shag him!"

"Ollete," I began, "I can explain, I-"

"No, let me explain," she stepped towards me, and stopped only when our noses were mere inches apart, "you're a pathetic, desperate little fag… just like you brother," and with that, she walked away. Leaving me in my front garden. Broken. Depressed. And most importantly. Alone.

**

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**

Hey howdy hey! I've updated, finally. Sorry I haven't updated recently, the next chapters in progress and shall be up in the next few days.

**I've just realised, even though this is meant to be an AkuRoku story, there's been absolutely no AkuRoku scenes, until now. Though I know this isn't the best, and isn't very graphic, but trust me, you'll be glad you waited when the last few chapters arrive.**

**I don't like this chapter much…tell me what you think.**

**written to Impossible, by Daniel Merriweather**


	12. The Hardest thing

Chapter 10

The hardest thing

I shoved all my books into my bag as quickly and as neatly as I could. No matter how hard I tried, though, I couldn't do the latter. I yanked the piece toast out of the toaster the exact moment it flew out. I was already ten minutes late for my first day back to school and, as much as I was dreading going back, I couldn't afford to miss anything important. Before I left, I darted towards the calendar that rested upon my fridge, and ticked off today's date, the 20th of May. There was only one week until my brother's funeral, and my parents were due back home two days beforehand. As the dreaded date loomed, I felt my heart grow wearier with every merciless second that pulled me ever closer to it.

I managed to drag myself out of the house, and I found myself walking to school at a pace that a even a snail would disapprove of. I clutched onto my bag, which was dangling precariously close to the floor from my right shoulder, and held one of the straps close to my chest, using it as a substitute blanket.

The air was chilling the scarce bits of uncovered flesh it could reach, and thought the summer was hastily approaching, it felt more like the middle of October. That was the thought that really entered my mind, until I reached school… and saw that the surrounding grounds were completely vacant. So I was definitely late for registration, but by how much?

I cautiously stepped through the gates, and proceeded into the building. The school was shaped almost like an ancient town hall, the bricks were stained with various different things, some less pleasant than others; the roof, let's just say we've cheated death, being under that thing for four years.

As I reached the door to my form room, I took a deep breath, tried my best to prepare myself, and opened the door,

"Master Itou could you please explain to me why you're almost half-an hour late?" My form teacher, Miss Lloyd, barked at me. Half an hour? I guess I've just broken my record.

"…I'm sorry Miss…It's just that…I…umm," Was the best reply I could muster.

"Roxas, I know you've been threw a lot this past few weeks, Sora's death affected us all," Lloyd said, though she tried her best, she still couldn't hide the condescending tone in her voice, "but you can't let your school work be affected by it. Especially now the exams are on the horizon, now please take your seat," oh _how_ exciting, and here I was, at the exact moment I dreaded the most. I nervously glanced around the room to sea my usual place, between Namine and Ollete, was occupied by Ollete's bag, and I could tell she had no intention of moving it. I quickly moved to the only seat available, an empty table at the far end of the room, the _emo_ table as it was called. Amidst jeers of "fag" and "queer", No guesses to how they found that out.

***

The day got worse as the hours wore on, The name-calling evolved into something much worse. Psychical abuse. In the first day alone, I've been slapped, punched, kicked, spat on and I've even had rocks thrown at me. But that wasn't the end of it, I must have had over twenty guys asking me to give them a blow-job. To my happiness, I finally reached my final lesson: English. After finding a table isolated from the others, I got out my books, and started the five minute independent reading time.

"What 'ya reading queer?" A rather portly boy asked, rather spitefully, "is it one of them fag books? Is there dick in it?"

"Dai!" My English teacher yelled, "Outside now, I'll deal with you later," and so Dai, the portly boy excited the room, and left the rest of the class still sniggering at my expense

"So," The teacher began, "all books down now, who's completed the homework I set over the holidays?" The class went silent for a minute, all dumbfounded "I guess none of you completed it then," she sighed, "right, the homework was to write me a poem, a song, or a short story describing your feelings towards a certain person, or thing, now let me see…um…ah! Roxas, I'm right by saying you've done it?" The whole room turned their attention on me, eager for my failure

"Y-yes miss," I whimpered

"Well come up here then end read it out"

I shuffled up to the front of the class, holding my piece of writing in my clammy palms, the class were all glaring at me, with a mixture of intent and hatred, I took a deep breath, and said

"This is a poem called The Hardest Thing," The paper I held was shaking violently in my hands, I managed to calm myself, and started to read

"It's funny how the whole world seems to change

With just one feeble glance

My heart skips a beat, whenever your eyes dart to mine

I know not to waste my time

As I could never stand a chance

With someone so divine

You turn my sorrow into joy

My winters into spring

To me, you're my ecstasy

'cause without you, I feel nothing

I just need you next to me

Without you I would never be

The person I am today

But I can't make you stay

Losing you,

Is the hardest thing I've ever had to do

I've tried my best

To lock you away in my subconscious

But you always find away to smash your way out

And all the rest

Can't hold a candle to you,

'Cause baby you're perfection

You turn my sorrow into joy

My winters into spring

To me, you're my ecstasy

'cause without you, I feel nothing

I just need you next to me

Without you I would never be

The person I am today

But I can't make you stay

Losing you,

Is the hardest thing I've ever had to do

It's funny how the whole world seems to change

With just one feeble glance"

The room was silent, only a faint cough could be heard, until miss finally put me out of my misery and spoke.

"Well…Roxas…I'm astounded, that was…well it was very emotional, well done. I think he deserves a clap now, everyone,"

At first, it seemed as if they refused to clap, but slowly, one by one, they started, and soon the room was filled with applause. All though they were applauding me, their eyes never rose above their desks, the only person who was looking at me was Namine, when my eyes met mine, she mouthed "_Well done", _and then her eyes slowly fell to gaze at the floor, but for a split second, those two lines entered my head, _It's funny how the whole world seems to change, with just one feeble glance,_ I smiled to myself, a genuine smile, something I've been starved of recently, and sat down. For a minute or two, I felt genuinely happy, until I glanced outside the window and saw…nothing. And then I realised, nothing had changed. I was still empty.

_Losing you, _

_Is the hardest thing I've ever had to do_

**A/N**

**Hey! I'm ecstatic at the moment, torn's gotten over a thousand views, I know that's not a lot, but It makes me happy.**

**Did you like the poem Roxas read? I wrote it myself =)**

**Tell me what you think **

**Dan **


	13. Postcard

If I'm a bad person,

You don't like me

I guess I'll make my own way,

It's the circle, A mean cycle.

I can't excite you anymore

Where's you 'r your gavel, your jury?

What's my offence this time?

You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me,

Well sentence me to another life.

**Ignorance-Paramore**

~Roxas~

_Two days later_

I walked back home from school alone, as usual. The Sun had finally managed to rebel against the dictatorship of the weather girl, and emerged from the oblivious clouds to rain it's golden beams down on the street. Everything that could grasp the light did, and soon enough everything on the road was shimmering back at the sun, annoyed with it's lateness, but still relieved it had finally decided to show it's face.

After several weeks of constant rainy torment, the heat felt unnatural and proved far too much for me, I had already peeled off my jumper, which was covered in a thin layer of sweat, and I was far too self conscious to remove my shirt until I got home, so for the time being, I was stuck as I was, shuffling down the road like a frazzled member of the undead, leaving a snail trail of sweat behind me.

By the time I had reached my house, I could feel my skin slowly baking under my golden tormenter, and the first thing I wanted to do was to strip off and sit under a cold shower, for at least an hour. But as I somehow managed to push the front door open, something else caught my attention. A small Rectangular shaped object slide out of the letter box. I stared at it for a while, a little dazed by the heat, and then finally picked it up.

After another few minutes of bewildered staring, I realised that it was a postcard. The front of it read:

Greetings from New York

The picture was just a standard photo of the Statue of liberty, not very original. I turned it round and read the message on the back.

Roxas

I'm sorry that we won't be able to come to the funeral. But me and you father are having a blast,! We've been everywhere, and I mean everywhere Roxxy! The statue of Liberty, The empire state building, Central Park, Broadway, it's been so much fun. Next time we go, we'll definitely bring you.

Hope you have fun at the funeral.

Love, Mum xxx

I was speechless. Not the type of speechless that everyone greatly overuses, you know the type I mean, the type where, despite saying your speechless, you're able to rant and moan, and most importantly, say you were speechless. Nope. I generally couldn't open my mouth. The anger had taken control of my entire body, and froze me right on the spot. I couldn't move. Couldn't breath. And most importantly, couldn't speak. I just stood there, shaking with an immense amount of fury. I really cannot belive I didn't see it coming. How typical of my parents. In there minds, they only ever had one son, they're just ecstatic that they didn't have to pretend anymore.

The warmth had fled from my body, and strangely enough, I now felt eerily cold, like the blood flowing in my veins had evaporated under the otherworldly heat of the sun.

My brain finally kicked back into gear, and I felt as if I was free of the grasp of my anger. The first thing I did was grasp the postcard tightly in my hands, and rip it to pieces. I couldn't stand the sight of it any longer. One the edges sliced my skin, and my palm was now bleeding slightly. The blood felt unturally warm on my still freezing skin and it sent an indescribable sensation flying round my body. I screamed aloud, and kicked the wall with an uncharacteristic fury. I despised my parents with a frightening passion, and I hated that postcard even more for bringing up my once dorment feelings towards them.

And, for a split second, I hated Sora, for being who he was, for not caring what our parents though, for still loving them. And then the circle of hated came spiralling towards myself for even thinking such a thought. My head was in a state of disarray, and the harder I tried to understand the situation I was in, the more confused I became. I couldn't even understand who I am any more, and even I had no idea who I was, how the hell could any ever even attempt to? Yet again, I had no idea how to answer that question, and when I tried, all I got was thousands more questions, all buzzing around in my head.

I staggered into the kitchen, and started rummaging through the cupboards, until I found what I wanted, the knife draw, and pulled out the butcher's knife. I held my breath as I pulled it towards my throat. I was gonna end it all, there and then. I was going to join my brother.

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**What's gonna happen to roxas??? Find out soon!**


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